Double Date
by Dragonhulk
Summary: Xander and Wednesday are a recognized as a couple in the eyes of everyone in the school, but why should he be the only Scooby to have the, er, honor of dating an Addams. Story number five in the series.


Disclaimer: I don't own the Addams Family or Buffy.

Rating: Teen

AN: I've known that I wanted the next one in this series to deal with a double date for a long time, but I kept forcing it to be Spike and Dru, something that kept turning into a disaster with far too little humor. I would have just completely given up on this series if it wasn't for the fact that people still leave me reviews and put me on alerts asking for more, so I kept trying every now and then until I came up with this concept that seems to work. So to all those who still look at my old work with hope even after years of inactivity this is for you.

* * *

"Why did I agree to this?" asked Buffy as she walked towards the imposing mansion.

"Well maybe because after Owen, and Ford you realized that the guys that seem normal are the most dangerous ones so you want a guy that you already know isn't normal but you aren't ready to take those final steps to necrophilia," said her companion as he walked up the path with her while casually avoiding the hidden bear trap.

"I think that dating Wednesday is beginning to mess with your sense of self preservation," growled Buffy.

"It is kind of hard to still be afraid of little things like death and dismemberment and still keep the majority of my sanity in this family," admitted Xander. "These days it takes something really big for me to think of it as dangerous."

Any further dialogue was cut off as they reached the front door and Xander rang the bell. The door was opened by something that made Buffy want to reach for a stake, but only made Xander grunt, something that prompted a response grunt.

"Sense when do you speak man grunt?" asked Buffy as they were shown inside.

"Some of Wednesday's family have their own way of speaking, so I figured it would be worth major boyfriend points if I learned them. I'm currently fluent in grunt, passable in Itt and Whatt babble, and completely hopeless in one handed sign language."

While Buffy was digesting this, four people entered the living room. By the way the older two held each other it was obvious that they were a couple, and one that only had eyes for their partner, and by the way the younger two were throwing verbal barbs and the occasional sharp, pointy weapon at the other they could easily be identified as siblings.

"Ah Buffy, such a pleasure to finally meet you!" said Mr. Addams as he grinned at the teens in the room. "I must admit I really appreciate you showing my son around town. With all the unsavory characters here we worry that he may fall in with the wrong crowd, but at least you and Xander will be able to keep him on the right path."

"Wrong crowd?" asked Buffy as she looked at Xander for a translation. By now it was well known that she had burned down the gym in her last high school, and with all the fights she go into because of her Slaying, all the parents thought she was the wrong crowd.

"Preppies," said Xander in a completely serious tone.

Opening her mouth to defend the entirety of her former social group Buffy paused as her mind flashed back to the frat boys that had tried to sacrifice her, the number of them that seem to suffer from barbeque related injuries, and Cordelia Chase and her sheep. She would never really admit it to the girl but it was this last addition that made her simply nod and say, "Yeah I can see that."

"So Pugsley, heard you were going to military school, what are you doing back here?" asked Xander.

"He was dishonorably discharged," said Mrs. Addams with obvious pride in her voice.

"Not only that, but he made such an impression that he and any of his children have been banned from serving in the United States armed services."

"Should I be worried about nukes going off?" asked Xander as he wondered exactly what Pugsley had done to earn that punishment.

"Nah, they stopped the countdown, but they couldn't prove that I did anything," said the barreled figured teen. Xander didn't know what Pugsley looked like before, but military school had given him the appearance of a linebacker, thick, heavy, but more muscle then not.

"Didn't even have enough to press charges," said Mr. Addams as he smiled widely around his cigar.

"So, I was thinking Bronze to introduce you to the teen night life, and then the more active cemeteries to introduce you to the undead night life. Besides, I'm guessing after dealing with the jocks, cheerleaders, and Cordelia you'd be in the mood to inflict some fatal damage on those truly deserving," said Xander.

"Sounds like a plan, we can even take my car," said Pugsley as he lead them towards the garage.

"Huh, never seen your family drive; now that I think of it," said Xander as he glanced at Wednesday and wondered what kind of car they'd drive. Oh who was he kidding, it was going to be a hearse; they'd see it as practical as well as stylish.

"Here we are," said Pugsley as he proudly pulled the cover off of a car.

"That's a 67 Shelby," said Xander, a bit of drool forming in his mouth.

"Yep, parents got it as a graduation present for doing so well in school."

"Weren't you dishonorably discharged?" asked Buffy.

"And apparently they're proud of it," responded Xander.

"Here Buffy, you can drive," said Pugsley as he tossed the blond his keys.

"Really?!" exclaimed two different voices, one in excitement, the other in pure horror.

"Yeah, she knows how to get places and I don't. Is there a problem with letting her drive?"

"Depends on your view of vehicular manslaughter," said Xander right before Buffy punched him in the arm with more than a bit of Slayer strength.

"Ignore him," growled Buffy as she got into the driver's seat and started the engine.

"Hold on, there's something I need to do before you leave," said Xander as he took out some of his holy water and poured it in the shape of a cross on the hood of the car. "Through this holy unction may the Lord pardon thee whatever sins or faults thou hast committed…"

"Did you just preform last rights for my car?" asked Pugsley, with an almost unholy fire beginning to form in his eyes while Wednesday simply raised an eyebrow at her boyfriend's actions.

"Yep," said Xander without the slightest hint of remorse.

"Good to know that you have your priorities straight," said Pugsley right before Buffy pulled out of the driveway.

"Is he in danger?" asked Wednesday as she and Xander casually walked to the car he had borrowed from his uncle for his date.

"We're living on a gateway to hell, so I'd say constantly."

"Will he survive?"

"He's an Addams, so probably," said Xander as he started his own car and began to make his way towards the Bronze.

"Pity."

* * *

It wasn't hard to follow Buffy's trail, all they had to do was look for massive, but unique property damage. That and listen for sirens, the sirens were a really good indicator that they were going in the right direction.

"There are tire marks going up the side of that building," stated Wednesday, her usual monotone voice holding a bit of awe at what she was seeing.

"Yes indeed there are," said Xander as he maneuvered his car to run over the head of a vampire that was crawling along the road, a vampire that had what was quickly becoming an all too familiar tire tread running over his back and legs.

"They reach the second story."

"That's Buffy for you, never letting little things like the laws of physics tell her what she can or can't do," said Xander as he stopped at an intersection that the police were beginning to quadrant off. Looking at the trail of destruction and then in the opposite direction he quickly came to a conclusion. "Huh, either Buffy got confused or they decided to go somewhere other than the Bronze."

Wednesday simply raised an eyebrow and gave Xander an expectant look.

"Shelby," stated Xander raising his right hand above his head before lowering his left below his knees, "against a POS that my uncle demanded I pay the last of my spending cash to buy. There is no way the two will meet in any kind of chase."

In response Wednesday simply opened up her door, walked to the side of the road to pick up a large stone, and used said stone to knock out the Sunnydale PD officer that was unlucky enough, or perhaps stupid enough, to turn his back on her.

"Okay, a police cruiser may work as far as speed goes, but I need to question the wisdom of stealing from the cops," said Xander, using all his experience repressing his survival instincts he had gained around his girlfriend to keep from freaking out.

Quickly grabbing Xander's head Wednesday pressed her mouth to his, showing that while it may be buried much deeper than most would think to look, she had indeed inherited the passion both of her parents possessed and were unafraid to show to the world. "Get in and I'll show you some of the toys Mother gave me when I entered puberty."

These words served to unchain the beast that is known as the teenage male libido. Once it slipped its leash the beast proceeded to turn such concepts as self-preservation and common sense into a fine red mist, so it came as no surprise when Xander hopped into the passenger side of the cruiser with a smile on his face and said, "Then again we're teenagers, we're supposed to do stupid things. And really in this day and age you can't say you've lived unless you have a few felonies on a sealed juvenile record."

"Agreed," stated Wednesday as she threw the car into gear and peeled out after her brother and his date.

* * *

As dawn broke over the town of Sunnydale four teens, slightly worse for wear; made their way to a beater car sitting beside an unfinished police barricade.

"Best date ever," said the largest man, who also had the largest smile out of the group. "So, what did everyone learn from this?"

"Vampires in LA apparently deal drugs and use guns," stated Buffy as she limply poured herself into the back seat of the car.

"Rule number one is pillage then burn," said Xander as he threw two large duffle bags filled with money and weapons looted from said drug dealing vampires into the trunk of his car.

"Slayers make better get away drivers," Wednesday reluctantly admitted.

"Cars that have been given last rights can turn high ranking demons into acidic goo," said Pugsley, the smile never leaving his face.

"The Bronze is closed by now," noted Xander, vaguely remembering the original plans for the night.

"There's always next weekend," said Pugsley with a shrug.

"For you maybe, my mom is going to ground me until I graduate for staying up all night," said Buffy in a resigned voice.

"High School or College?"

"Depends on if she recognized me from when that news copter was following us."

"Ah, good point."

"Does anyone mind if I tell a couple of guys about tonight? They were trying to figure out an idea for a game, and if they did something biased off of tonight it'd probably be a best seller," asked Pugsley.

"So long as they change names and events to protect the guilty, namely us, I have no problem," said Xander.

"Same," stated Wednesday.

"Why would someone buy something like that? What would they even call it?" asked Buffy her nose scrunching up.

"Tonight was fun, but not everyone would do it, that's what video games are for. As far as what they'd call it, knowing them they'd probably name it Race'n'Chase or something like that."

"Fine whatever," said Buffy, assured that even if Pugsley's friends made the game no one would buy it.


End file.
